I'm going mad. Really. Really, really properly mad. As in wanting to punch my boss for eating his cereal too loudly, or kick my manager for talking to herself. Weirdly, this has very little to do with the wedding, which seems to be coming together a bit, but everything to do with work. Specifically a piece of work I was assigned two years ago, completed, then 6 months ago as informed it had changed. I've been working on it solidly ever since. What I didn't expect (although I should have) is that the software upgrade that was supposed to make our lives easier has made things 100 million times worse. Not helped by my manager coding something that ate up all the system memory and destroyed our files. Future husband is stressed also so there is no respite at home, especially since I told him he spent too much time in the mancave and he responded by spending every second with me. I didn't mean he needed to be with me all the time. I just wanted a hello as I came in the door or something. Now I just want to send him to his room or something so I can have 5 minutes to watch rubbishy tv without it being switched to Sky Sports news or tennis.
This is not good for weight loss. I'd love to be one of those elegant women who go off food. My future husband is stressed too, and he feels sick so doesn't eat. I, on the other hand, eat everything that's not nailed down. At this rate, Norwegians are going to try to harpoon me to make lipsticks.
In other news, we (finally) have our invitations, but there was another hold up when future husband declared that my handwriting wasn't good enough to write them so gave them to his mother, who decided she needed to practice. Arrgh. And another wobble when we argued over the meal. Apparently the meat was too fatty for H2Bs liking so he wanted to pay more money to feed people we don't like. We're already paying more for the red wine (the one provided was too vinegary) and tea and coffee (of which I drink neither) so I was refusing to pay yet another £5 a head for meat that was actually rather yummy. We had a bit of an argument over that, after which he felt it was necessary to get me flowers and chocolate. We've got our centrepieces and some bargain hurricane candle lamps from Tesco. My new larger bridesmaid's dress has arrived.
Days til the wedding: 74 (I think)
Level of madness: Danger! Danger! (but not the wedding's fault for once).
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Monday, 6 June 2011
Less than 100 days...
With less than 100 days to go until the big day, I'm struggling to find ways to keep feeling like we're actually planning this thing. The trouble is, we've been far too organised and done everything so far in advance that there isn't much left. We've sorted the cars, the venue, the dress, veil, and the tiara. Our invitations are a work in progress, but they are in hand. We tried on the rings last night. So what's left?
Well...there's the food. Our menu tasting is next week and we needed to pick options for it. But, after poring over the menu for hours, we came back to the same choices we made when they gave us the menu, almost a year ago. So that took all of 5 seconds.
Wedding jewellery is largely sorted, as much as it can be without seeing it with the dress.
That just leaves me. Having been relatively well behaved regarding the diet and the gym, and starting the new beauty regime, I can honestly say, with 3 months left to go, that I am not suddenly going to morph into Cameron Diaz. Well, maybe her skin!!! Sadly, I am not going to lose all the weight,develop 6 pack abs, and my backne is not going to miraculously disappear. So why am I sitting her ignoring that last tasty Yorkie cookie and the yummy truffles that are calling my name with their siren songs. Surely one can't make a difference? Well, probably not. Like I said, I can stop eating junk and spend my life in the gym, but I've reached that weight where my body fights me and between now and September, if I continue to be good, I'll probably lose 2-3lbs more. So, no. I have no idea why I'm not eating that damn cookie. Maybe something to do with looking at the wedding pictures and knowing I did my best. I'm not sure how that will relate to my Jabba the Hutt chins but I'll cross that (reinforced) bridge when I come to it. Can you tell that I'm rubbish at dieting?
Days to the wedding: 97 eeep
Level of madness: cookies are speaking to me.
Well...there's the food. Our menu tasting is next week and we needed to pick options for it. But, after poring over the menu for hours, we came back to the same choices we made when they gave us the menu, almost a year ago. So that took all of 5 seconds.
Wedding jewellery is largely sorted, as much as it can be without seeing it with the dress.
That just leaves me. Having been relatively well behaved regarding the diet and the gym, and starting the new beauty regime, I can honestly say, with 3 months left to go, that I am not suddenly going to morph into Cameron Diaz. Well, maybe her skin!!! Sadly, I am not going to lose all the weight,develop 6 pack abs, and my backne is not going to miraculously disappear. So why am I sitting her ignoring that last tasty Yorkie cookie and the yummy truffles that are calling my name with their siren songs. Surely one can't make a difference? Well, probably not. Like I said, I can stop eating junk and spend my life in the gym, but I've reached that weight where my body fights me and between now and September, if I continue to be good, I'll probably lose 2-3lbs more. So, no. I have no idea why I'm not eating that damn cookie. Maybe something to do with looking at the wedding pictures and knowing I did my best. I'm not sure how that will relate to my Jabba the Hutt chins but I'll cross that (reinforced) bridge when I come to it. Can you tell that I'm rubbish at dieting?
Days to the wedding: 97 eeep
Level of madness: cookies are speaking to me.
Wednesday, 1 June 2011
Slowly turning into Mark Henry....
Work has been incredibly busy and stressful these past 2 weeks, so bad in fact, that on Thursday I actually had to text my future husband and warn him to be nice to me when I got home, because I wasn't altogether sure whether I'd make it home without bursting into tears or lamping a random pedestrian for the heinous crime of walking too slowly. I hate it when someone blocks the pavement and walks slowly anyway, so God only knows what I would have done had someone got in my way. Thankfully I made it home without incident, received a big hug from future husband and then ate my bodyweight in chocolate.
Which brings me to the point of this. Eating. I've done far too much of it over the past week and have been trying to be good this week. Not easy when one of my colleagues turned 30 over the weekend and decided to buy the whole bakery counter of Tescos for the team. I'm not even joking. There were mini doughnuts, cookies, flapjacks, cornflake cakes, galaxy chocolate cakes, rolos and several other yummy things. He helpfully placed these on the empty desk facing mine. Do you know how hard it is to resist that table of yumminess when all you've eaten is 2 bowls of porridge and everyone else is gleefully tucking in and making "Mmmmm" noises. It's almost impossible. I've managed to be good so far, despite the fact that I am absolutely starving. I get the feeling though, that even if I ate all the crisps and chocolate and bowls of chips, or pasta in all the world, I'd still be hungry. It's just that kind of week.
I need to keep on this though. If I lose a pound a week, until my first dress fitting, that'll be 10lbs down, which might just make me look less like a walrus in a wedding dress. Sadly though, some of the exercise has backfired on me and instead of making my arms all sexy and muscular a la Michelle Obama, I've managed to majorly bulk them up. Seriously, I look like an anaemic, less beardy version of this guy. It's not a good look on me. And don't even get me started on what's happening to my bosoms!!
In other amusing news, I decided to attempt to give my pasty skin some colour. It was a stupid thing to do, as these things never work on me, but I never learn. I purchased one of those moisturisers with a gradual tanner in and started applying it. Two days, and one bright orange streaked leg later, future husband came downstairs, gave me a hug, and accused me of eating all the doritos. I denied it because I hadn't. Not that day anyway. He said I smell like doritos. I called him a mental. Then I worked it out. It's the self-tan. So now he calls me nacho. Thankfully he hasn't noticed the zebra leg. I hate to think what he'd call me...
Days til the wedding: 103
Level of madness: Low. I'm too hungry to care.
Wednesday, 25 May 2011
After the storm...
...comes the ash cloud. Thankfully I'm not flying away anywhere so don't have to worry, but some of the ladies on the wedding forum are and they're understandably panicking. Kind of puts things into perspective a bit.
Things have started moving a little, since my last post and our complaint. We have sample invitations. And the manager of our venue phoned H2B and did some apologising. Later the same day the woman we've been dealing with called me to set up a menu tasting. That was awkward. She knew we'd complained about her. I knew we'd complained about her but neither of us mentioned it. It was a conversation peppered with forced "lovely"s and "brilliant"s. The manager said that she was so good she'd been made a full time event planner. Which begs the question, so good at what? Cause if it's not answering emails and stressing me out, she's amazing! No, no, mad bride. You must be nice to the 12 year old event planner and not bridezillay!
The stress has died down but sadly, my stress related eating hasn't entirely vanished. I'm currently a one woman soldier ant, if those are the ants which consume everything in their path. Still. my first dress fitting isn't for another....2.5 months. Oh my god!!! Please let me stop eating everything!!!!!! I'll stop. Really. I will. After this flapjack biscuit. And maybe a ripple when I get home.
While I'm still ranting: My mother. I'm avoiding her. Not because I don't like her, although I'm not keen on her cooking and she keeps issuing dinner invitations including the latest hilarious one:
My Mum: I'm not feeling well....(enter list of symptoms and 30 minutes gushing about the latest baby born in our family who is the ugliest thing ever!)....do you want to come for your dinner?
Me: No. You're not well and in no state to cook.
My Mum: Well we've got food in the freezer. You could cook your own dinner.
Me: Yeah. I can do that here.
So why am I avoiding her? Oh god. It's her mother of the bride outfit. I can't remember if I've complained about this already. If I have skip this background. Ok. She saw a nice outfit in Debenhams. My dad got all scrooge mcdad on her and put her off it, even though he'd give me the money. I offered to take her shopping. She went out without me and bought another outfit and didn't like it so took it back. I offered again to take her shopping - she said in a month or 2. In the meantime I've been scouring the internets looking for something that wont clash with my bridesmaids and will suit my dad's shallow pockets. I found something really lovely and sent her the link. She refuses to look at it. I give up. She can come in shocking pink zebra print for all I care.
Days til the wedding: 109
Level of madness: Not too bad, aside from my bloody mother.
Things have started moving a little, since my last post and our complaint. We have sample invitations. And the manager of our venue phoned H2B and did some apologising. Later the same day the woman we've been dealing with called me to set up a menu tasting. That was awkward. She knew we'd complained about her. I knew we'd complained about her but neither of us mentioned it. It was a conversation peppered with forced "lovely"s and "brilliant"s. The manager said that she was so good she'd been made a full time event planner. Which begs the question, so good at what? Cause if it's not answering emails and stressing me out, she's amazing! No, no, mad bride. You must be nice to the 12 year old event planner and not bridezillay!
The stress has died down but sadly, my stress related eating hasn't entirely vanished. I'm currently a one woman soldier ant, if those are the ants which consume everything in their path. Still. my first dress fitting isn't for another....2.5 months. Oh my god!!! Please let me stop eating everything!!!!!! I'll stop. Really. I will. After this flapjack biscuit. And maybe a ripple when I get home.
While I'm still ranting: My mother. I'm avoiding her. Not because I don't like her, although I'm not keen on her cooking and she keeps issuing dinner invitations including the latest hilarious one:
My Mum: I'm not feeling well....(enter list of symptoms and 30 minutes gushing about the latest baby born in our family who is the ugliest thing ever!)....do you want to come for your dinner?
Me: No. You're not well and in no state to cook.
My Mum: Well we've got food in the freezer. You could cook your own dinner.
Me: Yeah. I can do that here.
So why am I avoiding her? Oh god. It's her mother of the bride outfit. I can't remember if I've complained about this already. If I have skip this background. Ok. She saw a nice outfit in Debenhams. My dad got all scrooge mcdad on her and put her off it, even though he'd give me the money. I offered to take her shopping. She went out without me and bought another outfit and didn't like it so took it back. I offered again to take her shopping - she said in a month or 2. In the meantime I've been scouring the internets looking for something that wont clash with my bridesmaids and will suit my dad's shallow pockets. I found something really lovely and sent her the link. She refuses to look at it. I give up. She can come in shocking pink zebra print for all I care.
Days til the wedding: 109
Level of madness: Not too bad, aside from my bloody mother.
Sunday, 22 May 2011
Distraction
As there has been no response from crappy, rubbish venue I've been getting a bit antsy. Especially as H2B has gone over to the dark side. I don't mean that he's dressed as Darth Vader or doing heavy breathing ( well there was a bit of that, but as this is not that type of blog, we'll move swiftly on). He's stomping about darkly muttering about there being no wedding. Dark muttering is normally my territory, so I'm a bit lost on what to do when my role is usurped. I can't possibly be rational can I? So I've been employing distraction techniques.
So far today I've taken my jewellery out and looked at it. I actually found a necklace I'd forgotten I had so I'm quite pleased. Where did phantom necklace come from anyway? I don't remember it! Did two of my other necklaces breed and create this one? I tried on my tiara. Not a great look with my tracky bottoms, bra and uncombed hair. I think it's a look that will rock the bridal world. This time next year all the brides will be doing it!
I had a little cry, then a bigger one, when I realised I'd cried off all the pricey moisturiser I'd applied 2 minutes before I burst into tears for no apparent reason. Then I turned into a giant termite and ate the contents of the kitchen. That'll help with the wedding dress doing up then. Back onto the diet and into the gym tomorrow. Sigh.
I was trying to distract myself by convincing myself I wanted a dress for the night do bit, but the ladies who post with me on a forum for other mental brides (It's the only place where they understand dammit!!) have persuaded me to spend the money elsewhere. Curse them and their sensible advice!! So instead I purchased 3 pairs of earrings. I needed them. Really. I couldn't decide. I can't possibly know til I try it with my dress, so I needed all 3. What if I only bought one pair and discovered they clashed?
Now that I can't eat any more food (there's only fruit left) and I can't spend any more money (don't have any) I'm comforting myself with ways I can mess it up if it all goes ahead.
1. I could fall going down the aisle. Not so far-fetched. During my graduation, I was first of my course up on the stage. That's not because I had the best mark, but because my name came first alphabetically. I cleverly managed to lose my shoe and stumbled while I was climbing the stairs. I'm assured that nobody noticed. I think they'd notice if it was my wedding. I'd probably take my dad with me and break his hip. My wedding would go down in history as the wedding where the bride crushed her father!!
2. Oooh this is bad. I could let a massive loud fart slip out during the ceremony. Again with the form. I am ashamed to admit that I did the first trump of our relationship. It just slipped out. I got tired of waiting for for my future husband who was then my boyfriend to leave so I could let the trapped gas out. H2B would find it hilarious - but he's very much of the opinion that farts are funny. I'm not sure my mum would be impressed though, and I'd turn a bright beetroot shade. Oh the shame!!
3. I think I might spill my dinner down my dress. This is based on previous form too. I once went to a very posh work event, as the date of a friend. This event involved wearing a ballgown and being a bit posh. As soon as the meal was served I managed to drop my fork, splattering the front of my dress with gravy. I had to stay like that all night. Thankfully it was a financial services event so everyone in attendance was too drunk on the free bar/coked up to notice. The dress was ruined. Thankfully I wasn't overly keen on it anyway. I don't think the friend who advised me to buy it had my best interests at heart.
I can think of thousands more but I think I've had enough humiliation for now.
So far today I've taken my jewellery out and looked at it. I actually found a necklace I'd forgotten I had so I'm quite pleased. Where did phantom necklace come from anyway? I don't remember it! Did two of my other necklaces breed and create this one? I tried on my tiara. Not a great look with my tracky bottoms, bra and uncombed hair. I think it's a look that will rock the bridal world. This time next year all the brides will be doing it!
I had a little cry, then a bigger one, when I realised I'd cried off all the pricey moisturiser I'd applied 2 minutes before I burst into tears for no apparent reason. Then I turned into a giant termite and ate the contents of the kitchen. That'll help with the wedding dress doing up then. Back onto the diet and into the gym tomorrow. Sigh.
I was trying to distract myself by convincing myself I wanted a dress for the night do bit, but the ladies who post with me on a forum for other mental brides (It's the only place where they understand dammit!!) have persuaded me to spend the money elsewhere. Curse them and their sensible advice!! So instead I purchased 3 pairs of earrings. I needed them. Really. I couldn't decide. I can't possibly know til I try it with my dress, so I needed all 3. What if I only bought one pair and discovered they clashed?
Now that I can't eat any more food (there's only fruit left) and I can't spend any more money (don't have any) I'm comforting myself with ways I can mess it up if it all goes ahead.
1. I could fall going down the aisle. Not so far-fetched. During my graduation, I was first of my course up on the stage. That's not because I had the best mark, but because my name came first alphabetically. I cleverly managed to lose my shoe and stumbled while I was climbing the stairs. I'm assured that nobody noticed. I think they'd notice if it was my wedding. I'd probably take my dad with me and break his hip. My wedding would go down in history as the wedding where the bride crushed her father!!
2. Oooh this is bad. I could let a massive loud fart slip out during the ceremony. Again with the form. I am ashamed to admit that I did the first trump of our relationship. It just slipped out. I got tired of waiting for for my future husband who was then my boyfriend to leave so I could let the trapped gas out. H2B would find it hilarious - but he's very much of the opinion that farts are funny. I'm not sure my mum would be impressed though, and I'd turn a bright beetroot shade. Oh the shame!!
3. I think I might spill my dinner down my dress. This is based on previous form too. I once went to a very posh work event, as the date of a friend. This event involved wearing a ballgown and being a bit posh. As soon as the meal was served I managed to drop my fork, splattering the front of my dress with gravy. I had to stay like that all night. Thankfully it was a financial services event so everyone in attendance was too drunk on the free bar/coked up to notice. The dress was ruined. Thankfully I wasn't overly keen on it anyway. I don't think the friend who advised me to buy it had my best interests at heart.
I can think of thousands more but I think I've had enough humiliation for now.
Saturday, 21 May 2011
Crappy, rubbish hotel
I know I promised to post about nice things but....
I need to rant again. I just have to. You see, it's our venue. We looked at a few venues (well 3) in our price range before deciding on the one we chose. The first was a local hotel and it was dire. It was dark, and gloomy and filled with bad plastic plants and torn table linen. It was also right next to the kitchen and all we heard for the 10 minutes we stayed in that venue (9 of them to be polite) was the microwave dinging.
The second venue was also local. It was an arts centre, but it looked like a swimming pool and I didn't like the idea of getting married on a stage. People will look at me!!
The third was a big hotel well known for its weddings. H2B loved it because some people he knows worked there and I liked it becausse of the sweeping driveways, bar in the room and space for a ceilidh. We couldn't find bad reviews and even though it was expensive, we decided to go for it and get married on a Sunday. Sundays are cheaper you see.
I really, really wish we hadn't bothered. Since we paid the deposit (muppets), they've been crap. Crapper than crap. Crapper than the little deposits that H2B leaves on the side of the toilet (how hard is it to go in the actual water?). As we seem to be cursed, the first co-ordinator went off on long term sick leave. Co-incedentally, so did our solicitor when we were buying our house. Is there something about dealing with me that means people go off sick when forced to deal with me? I'm actually quite nice, and not a scary dragon. Anyway, the hotel didn't tell us about that, and it took a couple of weeks. Then we got a nice, shiny new co-ordinator, who was all of 6 years old. Am I just getting old? She had a contract for us. Only it was the wrong contract and I had to correct her. Then I had to chase her for half a month to find out how much I needed to pay. Obviously I was chasing her by email and telephone, not actually chasing her. I have images of her running around the hotel grounds, me chasing her with a contract in hand. It has the Benny Hill music behind it.
They said they'd get in contact 4 months before the wedding. It's now 3 and a half and we haven't heard. We've complained to the manager and I await their response. Possibly in 6 years. Which will be good, because our invitations might just be ready by then.
Arrrgh, don't they know I'm a stressed bride. I was stressed out enough about the invitations. Stressed enough to warrant a dominos pizza. I don't need any more grey hairs thank you and I certainly can't take another pizza. My jeans wouldn't fit and I'll have nothing to wear. And I have no money for any more because I've given it all to a rubbish venue who haven't mastered the art of emailing yet. Just fucking tell me stuff!!!
I can honestly see why people get on roofs with sniper's rifles. I swear if they don't respond to this complaint, I will go down there, kidnap the events team and beat them until they organise my fucking wedding like they're supposed to. I just want a room, and some chairs and some food and some wine. That's it. That's all they're in charge of. How hard can it be?
Anything else want to go wrong? Please don't. If I get any more wedding related hassle, I'll be found quivering in a corner, sobbing and painting with my own poo. Why didn't we just go to a registry office and then tell everyone afterwards?
Thankfully H2B has just made me smile by fraping my facebook profile with the following "I'm a gooey lovey-dovey girly girl. I wuv my H2B soo much".
I'm turning into a proper bridezilla!!
Days til the wedding (if the hotel haven't forgotten we've booked): 113
Level of madness: High. Very high. Almost volcanic. I'm threatening to beat people up ffs!!
I need to rant again. I just have to. You see, it's our venue. We looked at a few venues (well 3) in our price range before deciding on the one we chose. The first was a local hotel and it was dire. It was dark, and gloomy and filled with bad plastic plants and torn table linen. It was also right next to the kitchen and all we heard for the 10 minutes we stayed in that venue (9 of them to be polite) was the microwave dinging.
The second venue was also local. It was an arts centre, but it looked like a swimming pool and I didn't like the idea of getting married on a stage. People will look at me!!
The third was a big hotel well known for its weddings. H2B loved it because some people he knows worked there and I liked it becausse of the sweeping driveways, bar in the room and space for a ceilidh. We couldn't find bad reviews and even though it was expensive, we decided to go for it and get married on a Sunday. Sundays are cheaper you see.
I really, really wish we hadn't bothered. Since we paid the deposit (muppets), they've been crap. Crapper than crap. Crapper than the little deposits that H2B leaves on the side of the toilet (how hard is it to go in the actual water?). As we seem to be cursed, the first co-ordinator went off on long term sick leave. Co-incedentally, so did our solicitor when we were buying our house. Is there something about dealing with me that means people go off sick when forced to deal with me? I'm actually quite nice, and not a scary dragon. Anyway, the hotel didn't tell us about that, and it took a couple of weeks. Then we got a nice, shiny new co-ordinator, who was all of 6 years old. Am I just getting old? She had a contract for us. Only it was the wrong contract and I had to correct her. Then I had to chase her for half a month to find out how much I needed to pay. Obviously I was chasing her by email and telephone, not actually chasing her. I have images of her running around the hotel grounds, me chasing her with a contract in hand. It has the Benny Hill music behind it.
They said they'd get in contact 4 months before the wedding. It's now 3 and a half and we haven't heard. We've complained to the manager and I await their response. Possibly in 6 years. Which will be good, because our invitations might just be ready by then.
Arrrgh, don't they know I'm a stressed bride. I was stressed out enough about the invitations. Stressed enough to warrant a dominos pizza. I don't need any more grey hairs thank you and I certainly can't take another pizza. My jeans wouldn't fit and I'll have nothing to wear. And I have no money for any more because I've given it all to a rubbish venue who haven't mastered the art of emailing yet. Just fucking tell me stuff!!!
I can honestly see why people get on roofs with sniper's rifles. I swear if they don't respond to this complaint, I will go down there, kidnap the events team and beat them until they organise my fucking wedding like they're supposed to. I just want a room, and some chairs and some food and some wine. That's it. That's all they're in charge of. How hard can it be?
Anything else want to go wrong? Please don't. If I get any more wedding related hassle, I'll be found quivering in a corner, sobbing and painting with my own poo. Why didn't we just go to a registry office and then tell everyone afterwards?
Thankfully H2B has just made me smile by fraping my facebook profile with the following "I'm a gooey lovey-dovey girly girl. I wuv my H2B soo much".
I'm turning into a proper bridezilla!!
Days til the wedding (if the hotel haven't forgotten we've booked): 113
Level of madness: High. Very high. Almost volcanic. I'm threatening to beat people up ffs!!
Thursday, 19 May 2011
Invitation worries
You know that post about the royal wedding I did? The one where I said a friend was doing our invitations and it was a good thing. Well, I withdraw that statement.
Let me explain. We'd originally had an offer from my line manager at work. Her partner is a professional printer and she offered his services for the princely sum of a bottle of alcamohol and some biscuits. So H2B asked his brother to draw something. His brother is an artist (of piss-artist variety mainly). H2B and his brother don't really get on, so this was a bad idea from the start. A week or so later, when my future brother in law didn't even start H2B engaged a work colleague and his friend B. to make our invites. As she supposedly has a side business, it didn't seem like too much of a gamble.
Fast forward a couple of months. She said she'd get us some samples ready by a certain date. That date came and went, followed by what is now 4 weeks. I asked H2B to politely move her along a bit because I want the invitations out in June. Never mind June actually, I'd settle for them going out before the wedding because at over a month to produce one, she's going to have 3 completed by our wedding. Which is great. We'll just invite a maximum of 6 people. Clearly she's trying to save us money.
So H2B passed the message on along with saying it was ok if it was too much for her. Her response? Was it "Oh I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been busy with the kids and work and I'll have something for you by the end of the week?" Noooo. Perhaps she admitted it was too much and apologised, leaving us free to find another option. Nope. Not that either.
Now prepare yourselves, my lovely readers. This is great if you're not me. Apparently I'm wrong to want my invitations to go out three months before my wedding. I shouldn't be doing it until 2 months. I'm sorry, did I ask your opinion on my wedding? I didn't realise you were the queen of wedding etiquette. I'll just bow to your greater knowledge shall I? After all you've done this already.
Arrgh. Yes, 3 months isn't standard, but neither is our wedding. Its on a Sunday. People will need some notice to get a day off on Monday. We have people coming from as far as Australia. They'll need notice too. We're not inviting all the family children, so their parents will need to decide whether to find childcare and come, or not to attend, in which case, we'll need time to invite someone from the reserve list. The hotel close the cheap room rate 6 weeks before the wedding, so say we wait til 2 months (we'll call it 9 weeks). I post the invitations on Monday. The post isn't delivered until Wednesday or Thursday. So 8 weeks. The person opens it post work, reads it and sets it aside. 7 weeks. They look at it again but need to decide what they're doing/can afford to do. 6 weeks. They mean to phone the hotel and keep forgetting. 5 weeks. Cheap rate gone.
Now, if this was the first time she'd passed comment on my wedding, I would still be cross, but I could probably let it go. It's not. Back when we first started wedding planning, I was agonising over bridesmaids. Apparently I picked too many because the top table is too big now. It's my top table!! If I want every fucking wedding guest seated at it, that's what I'll do. Same with my invitations. If I want them out 10 years in advance, made of ancient Egyptian papyrus, written in ink made from the blood of virgins and delivered by rare butterflies, then that's what I get. She may privately think I'm crazy, she may think I'm wrong, but she will keep her mouth shut and nod and smile and just fucking do it! Because I'm the bride!
To make matters worse, H2B has also engaged her to make painted wine glasses for our placenames. I'm not sure how she'll do that if we have no fecking invitations, because how will we know which names to paint?
As it happens I've not made any demands, except to get some invitations to look at before my wedding. I'm not much of a bridezilla but she's making me crazy. Honestly, I'm getting to the stage where I just want to invite everyone though facebook just so she'll piss off.
And breathe.....
Tomorrow, I should get my wedding necklaces. They're waiting in the sorting office for redelivery. That's a good thing.
Days until the wedding (not that it matters as nobody will get an invitation anyway): 115
Level of madness: High, but I think it's justified.
Let me explain. We'd originally had an offer from my line manager at work. Her partner is a professional printer and she offered his services for the princely sum of a bottle of alcamohol and some biscuits. So H2B asked his brother to draw something. His brother is an artist (of piss-artist variety mainly). H2B and his brother don't really get on, so this was a bad idea from the start. A week or so later, when my future brother in law didn't even start H2B engaged a work colleague and his friend B. to make our invites. As she supposedly has a side business, it didn't seem like too much of a gamble.
Fast forward a couple of months. She said she'd get us some samples ready by a certain date. That date came and went, followed by what is now 4 weeks. I asked H2B to politely move her along a bit because I want the invitations out in June. Never mind June actually, I'd settle for them going out before the wedding because at over a month to produce one, she's going to have 3 completed by our wedding. Which is great. We'll just invite a maximum of 6 people. Clearly she's trying to save us money.
So H2B passed the message on along with saying it was ok if it was too much for her. Her response? Was it "Oh I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been busy with the kids and work and I'll have something for you by the end of the week?" Noooo. Perhaps she admitted it was too much and apologised, leaving us free to find another option. Nope. Not that either.
Now prepare yourselves, my lovely readers. This is great if you're not me. Apparently I'm wrong to want my invitations to go out three months before my wedding. I shouldn't be doing it until 2 months. I'm sorry, did I ask your opinion on my wedding? I didn't realise you were the queen of wedding etiquette. I'll just bow to your greater knowledge shall I? After all you've done this already.
Arrgh. Yes, 3 months isn't standard, but neither is our wedding. Its on a Sunday. People will need some notice to get a day off on Monday. We have people coming from as far as Australia. They'll need notice too. We're not inviting all the family children, so their parents will need to decide whether to find childcare and come, or not to attend, in which case, we'll need time to invite someone from the reserve list. The hotel close the cheap room rate 6 weeks before the wedding, so say we wait til 2 months (we'll call it 9 weeks). I post the invitations on Monday. The post isn't delivered until Wednesday or Thursday. So 8 weeks. The person opens it post work, reads it and sets it aside. 7 weeks. They look at it again but need to decide what they're doing/can afford to do. 6 weeks. They mean to phone the hotel and keep forgetting. 5 weeks. Cheap rate gone.
Now, if this was the first time she'd passed comment on my wedding, I would still be cross, but I could probably let it go. It's not. Back when we first started wedding planning, I was agonising over bridesmaids. Apparently I picked too many because the top table is too big now. It's my top table!! If I want every fucking wedding guest seated at it, that's what I'll do. Same with my invitations. If I want them out 10 years in advance, made of ancient Egyptian papyrus, written in ink made from the blood of virgins and delivered by rare butterflies, then that's what I get. She may privately think I'm crazy, she may think I'm wrong, but she will keep her mouth shut and nod and smile and just fucking do it! Because I'm the bride!
To make matters worse, H2B has also engaged her to make painted wine glasses for our placenames. I'm not sure how she'll do that if we have no fecking invitations, because how will we know which names to paint?
As it happens I've not made any demands, except to get some invitations to look at before my wedding. I'm not much of a bridezilla but she's making me crazy. Honestly, I'm getting to the stage where I just want to invite everyone though facebook just so she'll piss off.
And breathe.....
Tomorrow, I should get my wedding necklaces. They're waiting in the sorting office for redelivery. That's a good thing.
Days until the wedding (not that it matters as nobody will get an invitation anyway): 115
Level of madness: High, but I think it's justified.
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