Then we moved onto the hen night. Complete and total disaster. We originally decided to go to see the Ladyboys but hardly anyone could come. Then we rescheduled , but even less people could make it. I feel very let down by all of them but one in particular. I'm about to do one of my aimless histories followed by a rant. Feel free to skip, but it's good stuff.
This story involves 2 friends, M and H. M is a boy. He's Australian, lives just outside Melbourne and we've been friends for over 10 years. He's a great guy, not bad looking (if you like the bloke who played Shaggy in Scooby doo) and would make someone a lovely boyfriend. Note: Someone, not me. He's my mate and that's it. I've never kissed him, let alone done anything else. He's firmly in the friend category. Anyway, the Christmas before last, he came over to visit and I arranged for us to attend a ceilidh for Hogmanay. We got him into a kilt, and off we went with some friends including H, an old mate from uni, universally acknowledged to have been the best looking girl on our course. Since then she's stalked him on facebook. If he posts she'll reply immediately . She's holding a massive torch and as he's coming back over for the wedding she's pretty much soaking her knickers and planning to move to Australia to be with him. Yes. She is that mental. So how has this almost teenage style crush angered mental bride? Well, aside from a sort of proprietary jealousy on my part "How dare she? He's MY friend. She should find her own Australian", she's been, well, a total bitch.
She was invited to my doomed hen weeks ago.. She said she couldn't afford it. I figured fair enough, despite wondering why she's so skint when at 32, she's still living with her parents. I got a text from her a couple of days ago out of the blue, asking what we should do with M when he was over, which was odd as I hadn't heard from her in ages aside from a sniffy response to a facebook post I'd made about being upset about the family situation. I then invited her to my rearranged hen, in the city she lives in, whch was much cheaper. She couldn't make that either. Apparently she has rehearsals for a dance class. Later on that day she emailed me to tell me M was coming to Glasgow and she was going on the train with him to Mallaig and then over to Skye. I pointed out that she was too poor to pay £29 for my hen so how could she afford that? I got a sniffy one back saying that I'd only taken him to pubs. I responded that he'd visited at Christmas, I'd taken him home for a family Christmas, but there was too much snow to go anywhere and he said he wanted to do what I'd normally do, which is go to the pub. We've not spoken since. I'm very angry with her, and feel like she's just been using me to get closer to him. And for what? So she can scare him off by doing whatever it is that makes men run away after a couple of weeks.
I'd promised her I'd sit her beside him at the meal. Now that she's annoyed me, she can join my brother-in-law and brother at the horrible people table and M can sit with future husbands two very gorgeous single friends.
In other grumpy news, I had my fitting today. It's not great. My dress needs few alterations - only £20 worth and that's to put something on it to bustle the train and attach the straps. The bad news is that even after spending almost a year dieting, going to the gym and generally busting my butt trying to get slim, the fit is the same as when I picked it up in the first place. And I swear I saw back cleavage!!! Sob sob.
Days to the wedding: 29 (to lose back fat!!)
Level of madness: Epic. I keep crying!