You know that post about the royal wedding I did? The one where I said a friend was doing our invitations and it was a good thing. Well, I withdraw that statement.
Let me explain. We'd originally had an offer from my line manager at work. Her partner is a professional printer and she offered his services for the princely sum of a bottle of alcamohol and some biscuits. So H2B asked his brother to draw something. His brother is an artist (of piss-artist variety mainly). H2B and his brother don't really get on, so this was a bad idea from the start. A week or so later, when my future brother in law didn't even start H2B engaged a work colleague and his friend B. to make our invites. As she supposedly has a side business, it didn't seem like too much of a gamble.
Fast forward a couple of months. She said she'd get us some samples ready by a certain date. That date came and went, followed by what is now 4 weeks. I asked H2B to politely move her along a bit because I want the invitations out in June. Never mind June actually, I'd settle for them going out before the wedding because at over a month to produce one, she's going to have 3 completed by our wedding. Which is great. We'll just invite a maximum of 6 people. Clearly she's trying to save us money.
So H2B passed the message on along with saying it was ok if it was too much for her. Her response? Was it "Oh I'm so sorry for the delay, I've been busy with the kids and work and I'll have something for you by the end of the week?" Noooo. Perhaps she admitted it was too much and apologised, leaving us free to find another option. Nope. Not that either.
Now prepare yourselves, my lovely readers. This is great if you're not me. Apparently I'm wrong to want my invitations to go out three months before my wedding. I shouldn't be doing it until 2 months. I'm sorry, did I ask your opinion on my wedding? I didn't realise you were the queen of wedding etiquette. I'll just bow to your greater knowledge shall I? After all you've done this already.
Arrgh. Yes, 3 months isn't standard, but neither is our wedding. Its on a Sunday. People will need some notice to get a day off on Monday. We have people coming from as far as Australia. They'll need notice too. We're not inviting all the family children, so their parents will need to decide whether to find childcare and come, or not to attend, in which case, we'll need time to invite someone from the reserve list. The hotel close the cheap room rate 6 weeks before the wedding, so say we wait til 2 months (we'll call it 9 weeks). I post the invitations on Monday. The post isn't delivered until Wednesday or Thursday. So 8 weeks. The person opens it post work, reads it and sets it aside. 7 weeks. They look at it again but need to decide what they're doing/can afford to do. 6 weeks. They mean to phone the hotel and keep forgetting. 5 weeks. Cheap rate gone.
Now, if this was the first time she'd passed comment on my wedding, I would still be cross, but I could probably let it go. It's not. Back when we first started wedding planning, I was agonising over bridesmaids. Apparently I picked too many because the top table is too big now. It's my top table!! If I want every fucking wedding guest seated at it, that's what I'll do. Same with my invitations. If I want them out 10 years in advance, made of ancient Egyptian papyrus, written in ink made from the blood of virgins and delivered by rare butterflies, then that's what I get. She may privately think I'm crazy, she may think I'm wrong, but she will keep her mouth shut and nod and smile and just fucking do it! Because I'm the bride!
To make matters worse, H2B has also engaged her to make painted wine glasses for our placenames. I'm not sure how she'll do that if we have no fecking invitations, because how will we know which names to paint?
As it happens I've not made any demands, except to get some invitations to look at before my wedding. I'm not much of a bridezilla but she's making me crazy. Honestly, I'm getting to the stage where I just want to invite everyone though facebook just so she'll piss off.
Tomorrow, I should get my wedding necklaces. They're waiting in the sorting office for redelivery. That's a good thing.
Days until the wedding (not that it matters as nobody will get an invitation anyway): 115
Level of madness: High, but I think it's justified.