Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Wedding wobbly bits

As the days inevitably edge closer and closer to the big day, I start to panic a little bit more and never more so since I fell off the diet wagon into the Easter egg pile.

Let me explain.  I was doing the carbohydrate addicts diet which meant I ate protein only for most of the day then had a whole hour at night to eat whatever I wanted.  It worked a bit - I lost 8lbs then the weight loss stabilised and the carby food looked more and more tempting and I got sick of bacon (never, ever thought that was possible).  The worst part was that it gave me dog breath.  Horrible, stinky dog breath that meant future husband refused to kiss me.  On the occasions he absolutely had to he'd make a face.  So my body was looking better but what's the point when my future husband didn't want to show affection any more?  Since I've come off it, I've been celebrating by eating everything.  Including all the Easter Eggs and errm some more easter eggs. Shame! Shame! I'm so ashamed.   I've even been driven to looking at diet pills before common sense kicks in and tells me that if these things worked everyone would be skinny.  Imagine a world where everyone was skinny.  Even Santa!  I'm  not sure I like the idea of a skinny santa.

As my chest is stillfull of gunk, I'm excused from exercise until it's better so i can't even make myself feel better by hitting the treadmill.  And I've just booked my dress fittings.  Eeeeeek. 

They're going to have to roll me down the aisle like a less purple Violet Beauregarde.  Well, I did threaten to dress my bridemaids as Oompa Loompas....

Days to the wedding: 145 (to get my bottom into shape).
Level of madness:  High (saved from total lunacy by the odd lucid moment).

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