Friday, 22 April 2011

Things my fiance has done to piss me off today...

1. Opening the door to the bathroom to chat to me while I was trying to do a poo (I got stuck in there when the lock broke once so I never lock it anymore).  He wasn't chatting to me for the hour before and the hour after, so quite while he felt he needed to chat to me then, I'm not sure.

2. Coming downstairs to "help" me put the shopping away.  This "help" involved bringing the bags the whole 1 metre from the sitting room and abandoning them on the kitchen floor.   As far as he's concerned, food magically transfers to the fridge from this position.  Presumably its the same kitchen fairies that do the washing up and steal his socks.

3. Refusing to give an answer when asked what he wanted for lunch, meaning I had to list every lunch food in the kitchen, despite him having seen what I'd bought at the supermarket.

4. I said I wanted pizza for dinner, then asked if he fancied takeout or frozen pizza he kept saying "pizza!"  The conversation went like this "I fancy pizza for dinner.  Do you think we should get takeaway or be good and eat the frozen stuff?"  "Pizza!"  "Yes, pizza.  Takeaway or frozen?"  "Pizza".  "Fine, lets do takeaway.  Dominos, Pizza hut or the chippy?"  "Pizza".... Repeat ad infinitum until I poked him in the belly button and stomped out of the room, only for him to follow me chanting "pizza" at me. We eventually had frozen because otherwise I would have killed him.
(I should add at this moment in case you get the wrong impression, that I'm marrying a reasonably intelligent 29 year old man, who holds a degree from a reasonably high quality university, not a very slow toddler)..

5.  I don't know why I bothered but I asked him about music for the wedding.  See the above point for the type of response I got only with some extra singing.

6.  He ran down my phone battery playing Angry Birds.   He does this constantly and he's broken my feckin phone charger..  Adimittedly I could take it upstairs but I'm lazy.

Ok, he's not killed anyone, but it's the constant drip-drip of annoying things that make me want to send him back to his parents house for good.  The worst part is that he knows that I lose my temper when I get frustrated and he finds it hilarious when I have a strop, so he does things deliberately to annoy me.  If you want an idea of how annoying it is, imagine living with Peter Griffin at his most childishly petulant and annoying.

Arrrgh.   Do I really want to marry this man?  Sadly, the answer is still yes, although I still maintain that if I snapped and killed him, no jury in the land would convict me.  Why are men so annoying???

Days til the wedding:  142 (if I decide to go through with it!)

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