Tuesday, 20 September 2011

The big day finally arrives

So, at 9.30pm the day before the wedding, future Mr Mental bride, looking very pale, finally left Bride House and headed off to his parents house, grumbling about being kicked out of his house and leaving a very nervous and alone mental bride alone with a lighter, a length of ribbon, a craft knife and some diamantes.  No, I wasn't trying to set fire to things or hang myself from a light fitting with a length of burgundy ribbon.  I was changing the sash on my junior bridesmaid's dresses from ivory to burgundy and I was singeing the end of the ribbons so they didn't fray.  Then I used the craft knife and diamante stickies to jazz up their shoes.

Eventually, I went to bed, setting my alarm for 6am the next day.  I drifted off to sleep, trying not to look at the veil hanging up, only to be shocked out of my lovely deep sleep at 11pm by some drunk people outside heading out.  Of course I couldn't get back to sleep for ages, but eventually, at around 2am I did sleep, only to be woken up by the same drunk people coming home at 3.30am.  So I lay there, listening to them doing something that sounded like throwing empties at wheely bins and getting more and more cross.  Didn't they know that a bride was trying to get some beauty sleep?  I had to look beautiful the next day dammit!!!  Eventaully, the annoying drunks passed out or went home and I drifted back to sleep...

...only to wake at 6.50!!  My alarm hadn't gone off.   Total disaster.  My hairdresser was coming at 7.45 and I hadn't done my clay wrap or anything else.  I did the clay wrap but was still wrapped in bandages when the hairdresser turned up.   At least she got a good laugh.  Then everyone else started to show up.  I was the most calm, running around in my dressing gown making bacon rolls and finding stuff and trying to keep peace between my bridesmaids.

To explain...I had asked 4 bridesmaids.  My maid of honour was my niece.  She's almost 3 years older and my parents had helped bring her up so she's more like a sister.  Her 2 daughters were the junior bridesmaids and I'd asked H2Bs  cousin to be my other bridesmaid.  They're quite close and he was really happy.  Only, she was a bit of a diva to be honest.  She insisted on using her own hairdresser.  She wore different shoes (to be fair she had an ingrowing toenail and wanted to hide it and did ask but it didn't endear her to my other bridesmaids who thought she was stuckup), she insisted on changing at night and she wouldn't get ready with us.  So, there was a certain amount of schadenfreude when she phoned in tears because her hairdresser hadn't showed.  My hairdresser was fully booked so that wasn't an option.  So she came over, did my makeup and insisted on going home to get changed, which meant she wasn't here when the cars arrived.

I remained calm until after my hair was done and my MOH had zipped me into my dress.  Then I saw it and it was all real.  And the cars came!!  Oh my god!!  It was actually happening!!!  Eeeeek.

Eventually, with everyone present and correct we got into the cars.  My mum and my bridesmaids into the Daimler limo and me and my dad into the 1932 Daimler.   My dad was so proud!!   We arrived at the venue and then suddenly that was it.

The ceremony went by quickly.  I nearly cried walking down the aisle with my dad, but at the last moment, got the giggles instead., not helped when H2B fluffed his lines during the lawful impediment bit and said "I don't".  Cue the registrar saying "I do.  He does!", me hitting him and H2B correcting himself, while everyone else laughed. 

Then the endless photos.  It was so windy that my hair got wrecked, but our photographer was so patient.  My face hurt so much by the end.

Then dinner (nommy but I couldn't fit much in my dress), speeches - my dad had left his at home so had to wing it, Husband's made my mum and nieces cry, and the best man who was really funny and eventually to the dancing.  Our first dance was the longest 2 minutes of my life but the DJ played the wrong song for a fewe seconds.  At my request - when Husband proposed he went to put on our first dance song and put on wonderwall instead - so the DJ replicated this.  There was ceildih dancing and a disco, cupcakes, buffet food and everyone seemed to have fun.  There were antics in the bushes (nobody has owned up) and a very drunk girl who went to one guy's room and then home with another.  Everyone is making friends on facebook so I'm guessing it was a success.

And  best of all, the chav, Jeremy Kyle family members didn't show up.  My brother caused a bit of trouble when he called one of the other guests an orangutan (she's ginger), but he's generally a bit offensive when he's drunk.  Husband's youngest brother was freaking people out by hugging randoms and stroking everyone's sporrans.

I can't believe it's over.  It sounds so cliched but it just went by in a blur.  I had an amazing time and hopefully everyone else did too.  So worth the hassle and stress.

Days to the wedding: 0

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