We're back from honeymoon and I'm gutted. I feel really sad and low. It was such a great day and we're not going to be able to do it again. I look at my dress and I'm sad that I wont wear it again. I'll never feel that special again. I'm not a bride. We're not honeymooners. We're just another married couple.
We've opened our cards and presents. We've unpacked the souvenirs from honeymoon. There are boxes of stuff from the wedding lying around taunting me with their weddingness. My bouquet is twinkling at me but will not be carried again. My sparkly, lovely veil will be packed away unless I'm lucky enough to ever have a daughter who will wear it (It's unlikely that we'll be able to have children so this is a bit of long shot, and even if we did, would she really want an old veil). Our champagne flutes will be in the back of a cupboard.
So, a whole year of planning, over in the blink of an eye. What now?
People say to concentrate on being married but...it's not changed anything. I'm still me, husband is still husband and having a bit of paper has just given us some extra security and the same last name. It's not sprinkled magic fairy dust on things. I'll still be messy and grumpy and husband will still spend too much time on football manager.
And the bitching has started already. My brother giving my dad a hard time thinking he paid for the wedding (he didn't, we did). My brother in law making bitchy comments about my parents buying us a bigger house. When you've worked hard to pay for things and save, and trust me, save we did - our wedding was paid for by us alone, no loans, no credit card balance - it really grates that nobody believes we did it.
I'll just have to focus on getting our house decorated. At least that's a new project.
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