Really. I swore I wasn't going to get caught up in Bridezilla colour scheme freakouts. I lied.
Yesterday wasn't a good day. I went to get my nails done and H2b took off with his best man and one of his ushers to get fitted for his kilt. The other usher is in Australia, so it's not like they were being mean and leaving him out or anything. I could have gone with them, but H2B has been all groomzillay about the colour scheme (more on than later) and his best man is a statistician so I thought it would be ok.
Anyway, nails all done, and having been informed that the boys would be heading to the pub to watch the days wendyball (football) action, I declared the day mental bride pamper day, got some lunch and brought it home. My plan was to hook up the scanner to copy some photos for h2bs photo locket and watch some girly films, stuffing my face with the chocolate I'd picked up from the cadburys outlet and enjoy some alone time in the house. Alone time in the house almost never happens because I work an hour away from where I live, h2b works 5 minutes drive away, and I work longer hours so he's here when I leave, and here when I get home. I hung out the washing, put the tv on and had only just sat down to eat my lunch when in came H2B and his friends to comandeer the living room to watch football. Apparently his usher's wife would have gone mental if he'd gone to the pub. It doesn't matter if I go mental it seems! She must be really crazy if I seem like the less scary option!!
So, not best pleased, I exiled myself to the bedroom, making sure to eat my lunch as messily as possible on h2b's side of the bed. And after football H2B came up to tell me about his kilt.
Now, some back story so that I don't seem really crazy. I wanted to put my bridesmaids in emerald green. I'd identified a gorgeous dress and they're both redheads so it would have looked gorgeous. Then H2B said he wanted a burgundy rouche tie. I didn't think that would work with the green so I switched to burgundy and the burgundy and ivory colour scheme was born. Everything is burgundy and ivory. The flowers, the bridesmaids, the ribbons on the junior bridesmaids dresses, the table decorations, the swagging, the balloons, the cakes, the invitations, even the dessert. We were originally going to get cupcakes from M&S until H2B pointed out that they would not match the colour scheme. Which is burgundy and ivory.
Should be easy enough right? Errm no. Future husband decided that burgundy did not go with his kilt choice so instead of going for the ivory one, he chose purple. Not even dark purple that we could pass off as burgundy in a dark room. Bright purple. Like cadbury purple. I like purple. I really like cadbury purple. But not with my bugundy and ivory colour scheme. It's all wrong. I'd love to blame his friends, but they warned him he should call me. He said he was his own man and could make the decision. I have no idea where he got that idea!!! Especially when he made the wrong decision. He's going to look like he's at the wrong fucking wedding. He'll clash with the bridesmaids.
I was overtaken by the spirit of Bridezilla. I got angry. I accused him of ruining the wedding. I cried a little (I swear I didn't do it on purpose - I was hormonal and annoyed). Then I took a deep breath, calmed down a little, got some perspective and tried to approach it from a rational manner. I pointed out the above statements about the colour scheme. He denied all knowledge of the cakes not matching the colour scheme. I asked if he could change to burgundy again. He said it didn't look right with the kilt. I asked why he didn't pick ivory and got a shrug and a stupid grin. He said it can't be changed because he'll look like an idiot in front of his friends and the shop staff. I told him that he was an idiot. My mum took his side and said nobody will notice. I told her I'd notice. Purple is not burgundy. She agreed, mainly, I think, to shut me up.
Then I looked at the bigger picture. I'm not marrying the tie, I'm marrying him. (Pity really, I'm willing to bet the tie isn't as stupid! I mean, purple, ffs!!!) As long as he's there and I'm there then it's ok. (Purple? Really? He's going to look like a magician!!). I told him this without the bits in the bracket which I managed to keep inside my head and instead of being happy that I was no longer being a mental, he went on the offensive/"I'll be the martyr, you crazy bitch" and it resulted in me storming out of the house to get away from his stupid grinning face and his stupid colour scheme ruining, magician purple tie.
Anyway, I did return after a bit and we've made up now. I'm still not thrilled by the tie, but I guess in the grand scheme of things, it's not that important. At least he's no longer planning to wear the Jacobean shirt and waistcoat that makes him look like Shrek. But still....PURPLE????!!!! Arrrgh.
I'm off to see if his mum can talk sense into him. But she'll probably say the same as mine.
Days til the wedding: 49
Level of madness: Purple? I mean, purple. FFS!!!